"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee."
They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they wanted to.
This book is dedicated to those fine men.
- Terry Pratchett, “Guards! Guards!”
Grand Theft Auto: Hawaii